It's a piece of (vicious) cake

What is a piece of vicious cake? It’s not a dangerously sweet confection. No, no, its not a chocolate covered chocolate doughnut with chocolate sprinkles and chocolate sauce. No, it's not that. It's also not something that is easy. It's not a piece of cake. 

Vicious cake is something that is sweetly dangerous. 

It’s that delicious tingle you get when you do something that is shake in your boots, heart pumping, on the edge of the abyss scary but you do it anyway because it just. feels. right. It’s that leap of faith you take when your everyday, comfortable self is pleading with you not to jump. You do it because that little calm voice, deep inside you, is egging you on. Whispering. Telling you to jump, to do it against all odds (or even against a few odds), to take that leap into action, no matter how big or small. 

Vicious cake is being a horrible speller and making the name of your blog a difficult word.

It's sharing your prototypes instead of waiting waiting waiting for the final “perfect” pieces.

It’s realizing all your flaws and funny tics and attachment to teddy bears and accepting that all these factory flaws make you, you; so you put yourself out there to the world

Vicious cake is doing something before you feel 100% ready, because you will never be 100% ready. 

It’s creating an art project that is risky because it’s something you truly believe in. 

It’s sharing that project with others even though it and you may be thought stupid or ignorant because of it. It’s doing it anyways not because there will be those people who connect with it, but because it’s YOU, and you just can’t play everything safe anymore. 

I’ve been able to revel in some vicious cake over the past years, and it’s run the gamut of signing up for a camping trip, rock climbing, putting a bid on a house, moving to Japan, changing from bio-chemistry to an art degree, putting pen to paper on what I enjoy, speaking up about what I need to family, friends and colleagues.

I'm still learning what vicious cake actually is. I don't know if I'll ever completely know, but I hope to share lots of pieces of vicious cake here with you. I hope you share some of your own with me! Please feel free to comment and share your own sweetly scary pieces of diving off the diving board, saying “I love you,” adopting that dog, sharing that sweet, dark, scary wonderfulness that is you. 

how it always begins

I've tried to start this blog at least three times in as many as plus a few years.

I decided to start it how I start so many of my finally-open-hearted adventures.

Here's a quote from Mr. Tom Waits:

"Advice for the Class of 2000

Run away and join the circus.
Get a tattoo, hop a train.
Plant a garden and save the seeds.
Get married, have kids, wear a hat.
Get good with a bullwhip.
Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal.
Everyone must put beans on the table. 
Be devoted to the unification of the diverse aspects of yourself.
Remember, most of what is essential is invisible to the eye.
The quality of time you spend with someone far outweighs the quantity.
And there's a lot you can do with a wah-wah pedal and a bullet mike."
-Tom Waits, Rolling Stone Millennium Special [RS 830/831], December 30, 1999

If anyone knows me, there's a lot up there that you know I wouldn't do, or you know that *I* think I wouldn't do it.

And I'm sick of it.

I've been sick of it for a while. Being careful gets you a quiet little house in the suburbs. And I've decided to throw all caution to the wind, make my own magic, go on an adventure, pack my bags, face my fears, step outside with an open heart and head out to the wind blue yonder and try to get that little house in the suburbs.